Abstract

These are exciting times in the world of molecular cell biology (especially as contrasted with any
other kind of molecular biology one might suggest.) The recent experiments on hereditary traits in
Pisum sativum, as elucidated by Professor Mendel, have broken ground once thought unbreakable
(though the obstacles in heredity experimentation involving cryonic peas remain and must not be
underestimated. We look to the valley of the Green Giant Corporation for help in that important
genetic region.)
Beyond these initial investigations it is an understatement to say the possibilities seem unlimited.
New techniques seem to be evolving almost every day, from polymerase chain reaction
to phrenology and to purified chicanery.
But all these developments have been eclipsed by the discoveries currently making headlines in cell
biology. I refer of course to the scientific news about the genetic eccentricities of the Catostomus
commersonii, or white sucker, a common freshwater Cypriniform fish inhabiting the upper Midwest
and Northeast in North America, but also found in eastern Europe, China and North Tonawanda.
Modern cellular biology techniques have revealed the unusual reproductive abilities of Catostomus
commersonii, which allow it to breed offspring at a high rate, eliminating the threat of extinction
from predation. Catostomus commersonii form colonies in which one egg hatches, on average, every
60 seconds (1), so that white suckers emerge from the egg once a minute in the long term.
So, one asks, why is this important to a scientific publishing venture? The example of the white
suckers that are born every minute is emblematic of journals like this. In the ecosystem of scientific
academia, as in nature, there must be a natural balance in the structure of predation. Predators
consume that which is presented to them. In a not dissimilar way, journals partake of the opportunity
to welcome the little fishes of the publishing world in with gently smiling -- oh, you know the rest. The
optimism of the poet Dante (“Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate”) (2) is appropriate here.

The central and important role of the journal obliges it to take formal ethical positions. In this, it is
important to regard the meretricious conduct of our many journals which fulfill the role of C. lupus in
ruminant clothing, Authors who produce important studies and share them through this journal and
others like it can look forward to excellent academic returns, or as the Estonian philosopher Paul of
Tallinn wrote: "Sa kaotasid oma raha ja sa lõhnad nagu surnud kitse." (3) (Translation: Fortune
favors the brave, and knowledge is the basis of civilization for right-thinking individuals.)
Clearly these are unprecedented times in applied cellular biology. If the dopiness of open-access

journals like this one is not sufficient to prove their character, then their devotion to self-
aggrandizement (4) and malodor are strong indicators of the way forward as defined by their

devotion to nooky everywhere in the learned world. How long will it be before cellular biology unlocks
the secrets of the greatest humans diseases? And what role will biology laboratories play in this
endeavor? We do not yet know the answers, but this is the best time in the history of science to
publish the latest studies on the subject. Researchers may conveniently park any ethics at the door.